Chuck vs the Weapons Grade Fruitcake
by P.J. Murphy
Summary: Entry from the 2010 Who Are You Holiday Challenge.  Chuck, Sarah, and Casey have to deal with a little problem at the Buy More on Christmas Eve...not to mention a grumpy Casey and some questionable holiday treats.  Happy Holidays!


_Well, since **ne71** decided to do this, I figured I could, too. (and what a great story ne71 published!) This is my entry from last year's Who Are You Challenge, where several great authors from Chuck fanfics (and me) would write a holiday story and people would try to figure out who wrote what. Mine was probably one of the more easily-guessed ones out there. But, you try, right?_

_Of course, this takes place a year ago, although a good portion of it still holds up to this day. I'm trying to come up with an idea for another story I might write on Saturday, but we'll see how that one comes out. In the meantime, enjoy this one and please leave reviews._

_And I hope everybody has a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah if you celebrate that, and a fun holiday season!_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Buy More<strong>_  
><em><strong>December 24, 2010<strong>_  
><em><strong>11:30AM PST<strong>_

Casey walked around the Buy More in a nastier mood than usual, which was saying quite a bit. This wasn't his favorite holiday of the year. Far from it, actually. It was bad enough he was forced to work on Christmas Eve at a job he didn't really have and hadn't seen Alex in a week, as her mother took her down to her parents' place in Phoenix for the holiday. But now he couldn't even fly to the East Coast to spend Christmas with his mother. A Nor'easter was moving up the coast, and airports throughout the Tri-State area were canceling their flights. He wouldn't have even minded spending half the time shoveling out his mother's driveway. It would have been worth getting away from Burbank for a few days to enjoy himself.

"Wanna slice?"

Casey turned around to see Jeff looking his usual unfocused, scary self. He was holding something that resembled a cross between C-4 and horse manure. Casey had no doubt whatever it really was had to be just as dangerous and disgusting.

"I see Big Mike made you get rid of your mistletoe belt buckle," Casey said with even more revulsion than he usually showed towards Jeff.

"Man has no respect for holiday traditions," Jeff replied as he held up the 'object' in his hand. "I brought some of my mother's famous fruitcake to work with me today. It's an awesome recipe. Makes me right with the world. Nobody wants any, though."

"Can't imagine why," Casey muttered. He walked away in disgust to the Nerd Herd desk, where Chuck was assisting a customer.

"Thank you, and have a Merry Christmas," Chuck said to the relieved customer as Casey walked up to him. Chuck turned to him with an ear-to-ear grin. "Still in a funk over not getting out of town, big guy?"

"Oh, good. It's Prozy, the Obnoxiously Optimistic Elf," Casey quietly growled. "Don't pop too many of those, or you won't have anything to stuff Walker's stocking with."

Chuck shook his head. "I swear, Burgermeister Meisterburger was less cranky than you. You should be happy. It was only the weather that stopped you from seeing your family. A lot of people don't even get the chance to see their families. You got to send Alex a Christmas present, right?"

"You picked it out for her."

"Well, I know how important a good laptop is for college students. Defer to my judgment on matters of technology. But you still gave it to her."

Casey grunted in agreement. "True. I never thought I could reconnect with her, but I guess I got lucky."

Sarah walked up to them and gave Chuck a kiss. Casey gave his traditional grunt of distaste.

"And how is the Grinch doing?" she asked Chuck.

"He's still depressed about his flight being cancelled," Chuck replied.

Sarah smiled. "Well, cheer up, Casey. You never know when things might turn around."

"Yeah right," Casey muttered in aggravation.

Sarah raised an eyebrow. "Oooh, I may have to resort to torture to put you in a good mood."

Casey looked at her with a disbelieving glance. "I spent three months in an Afghan jail when the Taliban were running the place, Walker. You don't intimidate me."

"Oh, really?" She turned to Chuck and put a pouty look on her face. "Ooooh, can I get a big smoochie from you, Chuckie Wuckie?"

Chuck grinned and fell right in line. "Awww, is my widdle sweedie feewing wonewy?" Chuck and Sarah locked lips and made enough noise from their kiss to make the entire store turn their way. Casey was ready to explode.

"OK! Enough." Casey put on a smile…or at least what he considered a smile. Chuck and Sarah were giddy in their triumph.

"See? Life isn't so bad," Chuck beamed. "You'll come over to Ellie's tonight, we'll have the big dinner, and…"

Chuck was interrupted by a beeping sound coming from the back of the store. "The alarm on the back door is going off. Jeff or Lester must have opened it again. I'll go get it." Chuck walked quickly to the back of the store. He found the back door slightly opened. He pulled it shut and turned to head back to the Nerd Herd desk.

And ran straight into a gun being pointed at his face.

Chuck slowly put his hands up. "Uh, Jeff and Lester didn't do that, did they?"

The man cocked the gun and shook his head. "You came within a heartbeat of tearing down Mr. Volkoff's empire, and he leaves you alive? He may be a fool for listening to that woman, but I refuse to take that chance. I have a lot invested in making sure the business continues to run. This is a little way to insure that."

"OK, uh, good point. But how do you plan to get out of the store? If you try to go through the back door again and set the alarm off again, my partners will know something's wrong."

The man smiled. "Oh, I don't believe that will be a problem."

The man looked over Chuck's shoulder, prompting Chuck to turn slightly. Two more people were leading Sarah and Casey to the back at gunpoint. They stood next to Chuck.

"Very good," the man said. "We have everything we need. Let's go."

Casey glanced to his left into the employees' break room. "Wait a second. You don't have everything you need."

"What are you talking about?" the man asked.

"There's a folder in my locker that contains all of the data we have on Volkoff. You need to take that with you."

The man pointed his gun at Casey. "You are lying. This is a trick."

Casey shook his head. "You don't take that, they'll just send the next agent after Volkoff and they may get even further than we did. If you destroy it, then the trail is burned, and our agency has no idea where to find him."

The man mulled it over in his head. "Very well. But no tricks."

Casey put his hands up in agreement and walked into the employees' break room. He gave Sarah a glance, and she carefully moved in front of the door to obscure the view inside from the three men.

"So, do I at least get to call my parents? Let them know I won't be over for dinner tonight?" Sarah asked to keep Volkoff's men looking at her and not what Casey was doing inside. "I never miss Christmas Eve with them, and they'll know something's up."

The man put his gun against Sarah's forehead. "I'm not that stupid."

Inside the break room, Casey quickly grabbed a folder and several items out of his locker. He then saw the _pièce de résistance_ to his plan on the table. He grabbed it and hid it behind the folder as he opened the door.

The three men got behind Chuck, Sarah, and Casey. "Let's go," the man said impatiently. "No more delays."

Casey prodded Chuck and Sarah forward to walk in front of him. He placed three fingers on Sarah's back out of sight of Volkoff's men. She gave a slight nod. His count went down to two fingers, and then to one.

An object behind the folder fell to the ground as Sarah dove forward and tacked Chuck to the floor. Casey hit a button on the small remote in his hand as he ducked down, and a fireball exploded out of the object, knocking the three men backwards. Casey jumped through the extinguishing flame and knocked one of the men down. The other two tried to charge forward, but Sarah bounced up and landed a spinning kick on one of the men. Chuck pushed off of a table and kicked high, nailing the other man on the chin. The men Sarah and Casey took down tried to get up, but Casey grabbed both of them and rammed their heads into each other to knock them out once and for all.

Chuck was amazed. "Wow. That strip kick thing still works. I didn't even need to flash."

Sarah walked over and carefully studied the object Casey detonated. It looked like a brick of plastic explosives with a detonator sticking out of the end of it.

"You had explosives stored in your locker?" she asked Casey.

"It was Barnes' fruitcake," Casey replied. Sarah stared at him in shock, but Casey shrugged it off. "I figured it had to be mostly alcohol, coming from Barnes' kitchen."

Chuck shook his head. "I don't know who's scarier: you or Jeff." He looked at the three men on the ground. "And I don't think I want to know."

_**Echo Park**_  
><em><strong>December 24, 2010<strong>_  
><em><strong>9:00 PM PST<strong>_

Chuck added a log to keep the fire in the fireplace going. Casey grunted in approval. It was one of the many things that didn't feel the same living in Burbank, but Casey appreciated Chuck's efforts in making it a Christmas like the ones he experienced growing up.

Ellie and Devon were beaming at the litany of gifts that were mostly for their daughter. Ellie would give birth in just over two months, and she insisted any gifts they brought over be for the baby. Chuck and Sarah chipped in to buy his soon-to-be niece a beautiful wooden crib. Casey took Chuck's humorous suggestion of buying sleepwear for the baby in the team colors of eleven of the Pac-12 teams. The only sleepwear the baby wouldn't be wearing was from UCLA. Casey thought it was stupid at first, but the laughter from Ellie and Devon when they went through the team colors made him realize Chuck was right.

Casey bought Chuck several games for his Xbox, much to Chuck's delight and Sarah's annoyance. However, she lit up when she saw her gift from Casey: the latest Glock pistol, which Casey obtained from a friend of his in the Mossad. Sarah carefully kept it out of view of Ellie and Devon to avoid any arguments, but the grin she gave Casey let him know he made a good choice.

"We're sorry your gifts haven't arrived yet, Casey," Chuck told him. "Someone is bringing those. They should be here any minute."

"Presents aren't necessary, Bartowski," Casey replied. "I don't really need anything."

"Chuck was telling us about your trip getting snowed out," Ellie said. "We're so sorry, John. I'm sure you wanted to spend time with your mother instead of us."

"It's not that I don't appreciate you inviting me over, Ellie. It was just I haven't seen her in a few years, and with Alex now, things feel…I don't know."

"Hey, family's important, big guy," Devon replied. "But family is what you make it. Your mom's loss is our gain. We wouldn't dream of letting you sit in that apartment alone tonight. And you can always visit your mother. Maybe for Easter."

Casey nodded quietly as there was a knock at the door. "John, could you get that for us?" Ellie asked him.

Casey walked over to the door and opened it. He stood there in shock.

"Johnny!"

"Ma?" Casey turned around to look at Chuck, Sarah, Ellie, and Devon, each of whom had a huge smile on their face.

"I told you things might turn around, John," Sarah beamed.

Casey turned back to his mother, who was now looking quite upset.

"That's all you have for your mother?" Casey snapped out of it and hugged her tightly.

"But how? When did you do this?"

Chuck was a bit incredulous. "Case, you of all people should appreciate the advantages of planning ahead! They've been predicting that Nor'easter for days! I talked to Beckman, and she pulled a few strings to get your mother a flight out of New York before the storm hit. First class, too."

Casey turned to his mother. "But you always like to stay in Connecticut for the holidays."

Casey's mother waved it off. "I've seen enough goddamn snow in my life. I don't need to shovel any more of that crap. I thought it would be nice to see what keeps you with the loonies in California."

Chuck quietly laughed. "That's his mother, alright."

Casey suddenly noticed the suitcases in her hands. "Let me put those in my apartment."

"Better make that your car," his mother replied. "Your friends insisted on putting me up at the Four Seasons. They even got Sunday brunch for all of us. I guess they figured I wanted to do some shopping on Rodeo Drive. They figured right."

Chuck and Sarah never thought they would see Casey like this. Casey was 8-years-old and making a beeline to the presents Santa left for him under the tree.

"I…I don't know what to say," Casey stammered.

His mother smiled. "You've got some really good friends here, Johnny."

Casey turned to look at the four people who made his last four years in Burbank one of the best experiences of his life. "That I do. That I do."

Casey stepped aside to let his mother into the apartment and took her suitcases.

"Who's up for Johnny-as-a-child stories?" Casey's mother asked the group. They roared in approval and quickly sat down to listen. Casey quietly groaned. But he had to admit: this was the sort of torture he could handle.


End file.
